I suck at writing

Today I discovered something. I cannot write to save myself.

I can write, anyone can write if they want to, but I get to a stage and then don't know where to go. I have a head full of ideas and no words for the page.

Even writing this post I am struggling to find the words to explain what I am thinking. And if I write everything that comes into my head I just end up with a page that goes something along the lines of: AASDFGJVKBH.

I don't know how people do it. How do authors get to the end of a book and still make it good? How can they right a book in the first place??

These are things that I end up thinking about when I have writer's block. I couldn't even call it 'writer's' block, I'm not a writer. I could never claim to be a writer. My writing isn't even that good, or at least that's what I think.

I guess this is just me venting my feelings on writing, well maybe just not being able to write...

I'm so sorry if you wasted your time reading this I just had to write my thoughts down.

Trimester One

So my first trimester at University has just finished and I wanted to write about it.

So it began with moving into Halls of Residence with 4 other strangers. I didn't know who any of these people were or whether I would even get along with them. Things were a bit awkward to begin with but now it feels like I have known them forever. The two girls are probably the most amazing friends I will ever meet at Uni. They really have become my best friends and I really do love them. One of the boys drives the whole flat insane but I don't think I could change him otherwise things wouldn't be the same. And the last boy is just one of the girls really. We all laugh and joke and gossip together and it is so much fun.

I have realised that Netflix and other on demand players along with cards can make life a lot easier. We spent the first three weeks playing cards and making up drinking games. I think this is what helped to bring us all together.

Looking after drunk flatmates also helps you to become close as we discovered multiple times over the first few weeks of university.

I learned that Uni is sort of like high school too. You have just as much work to put in but just less days actually on campus. The work is harder and not so thoroughly explained and you are warned months in advance that the assignment will be due in.

Overall, I kind of like Uni so far. It is hard work and is extremely tiring. My sleep schedule is totally messed up and I have no money but life is good and my friends will most likely last me a lifetime.

NaNoWriMo?

I am currently sat in the lounge area of my student accommodation trying to help my flatmate create a presentation for her Graphic Design class. Going through her presentation stage by stage, helping her to get it just the way she wants it while also sticking to the brief is quite a challenge for this girl so she recruited me and another flatmate to help. Her concentration skills are quite a problem too, hence our current situation.  We are currently sat on the floor surrounded by laptops, paper, pens and textbooks. It is quite a crazy situation.

What does this have to do with NaNoWriMo?

I really don't know to be perfectly honest but it got me thinking about it. It got me thinking about writing and the time it takes to write. It did, however, get me thinking about how great an end project can turn out too. The end project can be especially good when there are people around you to provided you with inspiration. I sounds strange but I love the mess of crumpled up paper, pens all over the place and notes scribbled on things that might not be suitable for scribbling notes on.  

For those who don't know what NaNoWriMo is

NaNoWriMo is a non-profit organisation and stands for National Novel Writing Month. It takes place in the month of November and the aim is to write a draft of a 50,000 words novel by the end of the month. During the month you can gain a variety of badges such as writing badges, participation badges and personal achievement badges. NaNoWriMo however, does not allow you to write your novel on their site but I gives you a variety of different tools to help you to achieve your goal.

Anyway...

While we have been sitting here I have been thinking about writing and how much I miss it. I know that I have to write essays and reports for my course but that is not the same as just writing because it is fun and I enjoy it. I used to write stories all of the time when I was younger and would read them to my family. They all used to say how good they were and I know they were probably just saying that to make me go away and let them carry on with whatever I had just interrupted but I didn't care. I loved what I was doing. I loved being able to control how events were going to go. In a way though, it didn't feel like I was controlling the events that were happening but that these things were happening because of decisions that characters were making. I know it sounds stupid for an 18 year old girl to be talking about people she has made up taking on a life of their own but when I am writing that's what seems to happen.

I think I am too late to join in with NaNoWriMo this year but I think writing is something that I am going to pick up again. It give me a distraction from having to be a grown up for some time and it is something that I really enjoy. I have lots of new things to inspire me now too which could make for an interesting read.

I would love to know right now how many people would read a book that I wrote but I know that that would never happen. I guess I will just see how things go.